Bakura's Career Day
by Ringtailer720
Summary: Bakura sneaks into Kaiba's office, and learns a lesson about blackmail... COMPLETE.


Um, something me and a friend came up with during a sleepover...I can't remember what sparked it. (Other than going to bed really late at night inventing odd pairings among anime...wait, that was a different one...) I think I started a picture about two pokemon that had been run over, and this is what happened. 

Disclaimer/Warnings: I do not own anything mentioned at any moment in this fic. Involves Bakura (the yami) being in a little trouble with the teenage CEO...but me and my friend like him, the sadistic person he is, so don't be offended. Flames shall be used to make Weevil pot pie and matching slippers.

Yami Bakura will be known as Bakura, his light (if mentioned) will be Ryou. This is a one-shot.

* * *

(Kaiba Corp.)

_'Sneaking in past the secretary at the front desk was easier than I thought.'_ The tomb robber chuckled to himself as he remembered the secretary watching a soap opera with the use of a tiny TV set, not minding the frond desk like she should have. _'After this is over, I'll_ _have to inform Mr. Chief Executive Officer that he needs to get better management.'_

Bakura had already shadowed the CEO without anyone finding out, so he knew the building's entire layout. Kaiba's office would be on the very top floor behind a key card locked door, but it was nothing his shadow magic couldn't fix.

Everything went according to plan...until he had to use the elevator's emergency exit to escape being cornered by Kaiba's goons. He rode the elevator on the outside until he was sure the suits had left, and re-entered the elevator to continue on his way to the top floor.

Just as he had predicted, the card-locking door had been easily manipulated, and the toom robber found himself inside the office of the most powerful businessman in Japan.

"Good Ra! This place is twice the size of Ryou's whole apartment!" A big screen plasma TV was inserted in the wall opposite the CEO's desk, which was solid oak with a cherry finish. A large table had been set up in front of the desk, presumably for a later meeting. Behind the desk, a mini refrigerator sat, and was filled with an assortment of food and drink.

The thief spotted the cabinet's door hidden behind the large picture of the three Blue-Eyes White Dragons with a white-haired woman standing next to them. He shimmied open the cabinent and found bottles of France's finest wines.

"Well, well, well. Somebody has refined and blue blood tastes." Bakura made a mental note to steal a bottle or two before he left, and closed the door to return to his original plan. Returning his attention to the wood desk, he decided to record this historical event by carving "Bakura was here" on the underside of the desk.

One by one, he opened up and carefully sorted each drawer, searching for the one thing he wanted. Yami would pay anything to get it, and Bakura wanted to be the one to collect, perferrably the puzzle, as payment. He might also copy and sell a few(hundred) copies on eSold.

"Ah ha!" A devious smirk grew on his face as he held the snapshot up to get a better look. It had Kaiba in the most embarassing outfit ever, and he was surrounded by teddy bears dressed up for tea. Mokuba's arm was seen off to the side, but the frilly lace of the dress hid it well. The thief snickered as he figured out that Rebecca had somehow forced both of them to wear dresses and treat her bear collection to a tea party.

He hid the photo in his chest pocket and returned the desk to how it had looked before he had searched. His head snapped up, however, when he heard the sound of approaching voices. He looked around for a place to hide and settled for ducking under Kaiba's expensive desk, just as said CEO entered with a group of other powerful-company presidents.

"...As you gentleman have seen, I don't allow the antics of incompetent workers to ruin the efficiency of Kaiba Corp." The elder Kaiba brother motioned for everyone else to sit before he himself joined them.

Bakura squished himself up against the opposite side of the desk to avoid the knees and legs of the teenage CEO. He mentally cursed, knowing that he was stuck there for a long and boring meeting. He smoldered for five minutes, listening to the egomaniac praise the company's efficiency. A thought crossed his mind as he stared at the CEO's boot, and his grin returned.

* * *

Kaiba was in the middle of his sermon on how his company always succeded in taking over other companies when he felt his boot being removed. Cold air pressed against his bare foot next as his sock was pulled off.

_'Damn Wheeler. How'd he get in?'_ Kaiba would kill the mutt after the meeting. He figured that anyone else wouldn't be dumb enough to do such a thing to him; it was almost like saying 'Please kill me now, I deserve to die'. Kaiba sucked it up, continuing his meeting.

He covered up his discomfort as Bakura's fingers teased the sole of his foot. As much as Kaiba hated to admit it, he was just as ticklish on the bottom of his foot as most people were. Bakura was pleased with the sight of the CEO's squirming foot, and pulled a permanent black marker out of his pocket.

The teenage CEO felt who he assumed was Joey writing stuff on his foot with a marker. He mentally cursed, but continued his meeting. He prepared his laptop for his PowerPoint presentation.

_'Not enough to make you crack, eh?'_ Bakura smirked. _'Then let's see what happens when_ _I do this!'_ Bakura used the knife he gleaned earlier to slice open the pant leg of Kaiba's brand new pants. This caused goosebumps to appear.

* * *

Inside, Kaiba was fuming. Joey was SO dead when he was finished, it would make Yami look like a living person. He felt SK and TG being written on his leg, and felt a heart being drawn around it. Yes, Joey was dead.

Bakura continued scrawling all over Kaiba's leg. Mostly hearts, flowers, comments about Yami and Yugi's hair. Anything that would irk the irritable teen.

Realization hit Kaiba of what he could do to the figure below his desk. He began to cough. And with each cough, he kicked the person with his other boot.

/cough/ (WHACK!) /cough/ (WHACK!) /cough/ (WHACK!) /cough/ (WHACK!)

"Mr. Kaiba. Are you all right?"

"Just a /cough/ (WHACK!) little cold. Sorry about that." (WHACK!) _'Feel the wrath of my_ _steel-toed boot!'_

* * *

Bakura groaned and rubbed his sore arm as blood ran from his nose. A few kicks had probably bruised his ribs. The damn CEO was going to get it...later.

Kaiba 'accidentally' dropped his pen. "Would you gentleman excuse me while I get my pen?" He bent down, picking up his pen, and glared at the tomb robber. He used the tip of his pen to direct Bakura's neck to the back of the desk. He left his pen there as he finished up his meeting, preventing the robber from moving.

As soon as the last company leader had left, Kaiba grabbed the front of Bakura's shirt and, in one swift motion, had the thief pressed against the wall.

"What the HELL are you doing in here?" Kaiba snarled.

"I came here to pester you. The Pharaoh is only so much fun."

"Don't give me that ancient Egyptian garbage. Get out of my office before I toss you out the window." He threw the thief to the ground and watched with delight as the thief limped out.

Bakura waited until he was halfway down his street before pulling out the photo. He chuckled as he considered just handing it to the nearest newspaper editor instead of exchanging with the Pharaoh. It would be well worth his pain.

The screech of tires awoke him from his daydream as a black car drove off the road onto the sidewalk. He was under the car, but had missed being run over by the tires.

The door opened and a sleek, fancy boot stepped onto the pavement. A long-fingered hand reached under the car, plucking the photo from the twitching hand. Kaiba held it up, before using a lighter to convert it to ash. The sleek boot retreated slowly into the car, and the CEO backed up and returned to the office.

Bakura learned a valuble lesson that he won't soon forget: No one gets away with blackmailing the CEO.

* * *

(End)

My friend provided the ideas of the coughing and the car for the fic. (Just don't ask how we got the idea). Bakura is perfectly fine (and one of my favorite characters). Kaiba is my friend's favorite.

Ringtailer


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